Before You Attempt to Repair Harm, Know What You're Walking Into.

Something happened. Maybe you were hurt. Maybe you did the hurting. Maybe you watched it happen and didn't know what your part in it was.

Whatever the seat, you know a conversation is coming, and you don't know how to prepare for it.

Most people walk into that conversation with whatever's in their head in the moment: the version of events that makes them look reasonable, the story about what the other person meant, the need to either defend themselves or perform remorse. None of that gets you closer to repair. It gets you further from it.

Restorative Justice asks three questions before anything else: what happened, who was impacted and how, and what needs must be addressed to make things as right as possible. That order isn't a formality. You can't know what needs repairing until you understand who was affected. You can't understand impact until you're honest about what happened.

This guide walks you through those three questions, from every seat you might be sitting in.

What's Inside

Three core questions, three roles. What happened, who was impacted and how, and what needs must be addressed, walked through separately for the person harmed, the person who caused harm, and the witness.

Root cause and context prompts. Questions that push past the surface event to what was actually happening underneath it, including outside contributing factors like White Supremacy Culture and other systems of oppression.

Needs, support, and accountability. Structured prompts to name what you need, who's responsible for meeting it, and how agreements get followed up on, not just made.

A quick reference page with the three core questions in one place, for when you need the shape of the process without the full guide in front of you.

Who This Is For

This guide is for:

Anyone who's been harmed and needs to get clear on what happened, what they're carrying, and what they actually need before they can sit down with the person who hurt them.

Anyone who's caused harm and wants to prepare honestly, without justifying, explaining away, or performing an apology they haven't done the work to mean.

Anyone who witnessed harm or was indirectly affected, and isn't sure what role they're supposed to play or what's theirs to carry.

Trained facilitators preparing to hold a restorative conversation, circle, or conference, who want a question set to draw from rather than build from scratch.

What This Isn't

• A script for facilitating a restorative process. These are prompts, not a transcript to follow line by line.
• A document you'd hand to restorative process participants. This is for your own preparation and reflection, not something you read from in the room.
• A substitute for training in serious harm, trauma, or power-imbalanced situations. If that's what you're facing, these questions can support your thinking, but they can't hold what a trained facilitator holds. Get someone trained.
• An exhaustive list. Use what's relevant. Leave the rest.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Do I need any RJ background to use this? No. The guide opens with a short explanation of what a restorative process is and why it moves in the order it does. If you're already familiar with the framework, you can skip straight to the questions.
2. Which section is for me? That depends on your role in what happened. The guide has a separate section for people who were harmed, people who caused harm, and people who witnessed or were indirectly affected. Most people only need one section for a given situation, but nothing stops you from reading all three to understand the other seats in the room.
3. Is this a script I read from during the actual conversation? No. This is for your own preparation and reflection beforehand, not something you bring into the room and read from. If you're the one holding the conversation, see the next question.
4. I'm a trained facilitator. Can I use this to prepare for a session I'm holding? Yes. If you're trained to hold restorative conversations, circles, or conferences, these questions can support the dialogue you facilitate. They're not a substitute for that training.
5. What if what happened involves serious harm or trauma? This guide isn't built for that on its own. It works best for lower-stakes conflict or with people who can stay regulated under pressure. If there's serious harm, trauma, or a real power imbalance involved, you can use this for personal reflection, but don't run this as a script. Get someone trained to hold the process.
6. What format will I receive this in? Digital download, PDF. You'll get access immediately after purchase.
7. Can I share this with my team or department?

This is licensed for individual use. If you want to bring it to a full team, department, or school, reach out at info@amplifyrj.com to talk about group access.